My new girlfriend wants me to bin my old “to
Dear Bossy: My last girlfriend and I were very into bedroom play, and over the course of our relationship, I collected a hefty number of toys for said play. The relationship ended and I kept my favourites. I’ve been seeing another woman, and I suggested the use of toys in bed, and she agreed. Then I showed her my collection, and she was...well, a little shocked I think. She then asked if I’d ever used them with another partner,High Heels Red Bottom Disconoeud 140mm, and I confessed that I had (but I’ve washed them!!!).
She then told me that if I wanted us to play with the toys together,High Heels Red Bottom Daffodile 160mm, I would have to buy all new ones, and also told me that she was a little scared by the number of toys that I had, like it was some sort of problem. We didn’t have sex that night, and we haven’t since. She has now said that she wants me to throw the whole lot out, because they are something that I shared with my ex. I don’t see them that way, they are just erotic toys. I don’t feel an emotional link between my ex and the toys. I don’t want to throw out my collection...is my new girlfriend being too demanding? Or am I missing something here? I really like this woman, but we haven’t been together for me to know if it is really going to last, so is it worth throwing away my much-loved toys just to please her?
Bossy says: Keep your toys by all means but don’t expect your new girlfriend to feel happy about using them.
She’s not being too demanding. You’re being a wally. It’s not like she’s asking you to get a whole new set of dinnerware because your last girlfriend ate off those same plates. You’re asking her to use the same sex toys. And in the words of one wise woman...."Yerrrrrch".
You don’t have to bin the toys. You could hide them and bring them out when you are alone. But if you want to start a new, meaningful relationship with this new woman I’d suggest you see a brand new set of toys as an investment in the future.